Intelligence reports this person actually exists, but is rarely reported seen outside of Law Enforcement and Military Circles. If this person does exist, he probably would explain his past as follows: "I was born in American Samoa, where at the tender young age of four I was kidnapped by a band of wild apes. From dere on, I drew a blank until one day I awoke at Den Bien Phu, defending my basecamp with only a 106mm under each arm."
Intelligence reports that this person has left a trail of demolished buildings, airports, villages, (as well as a few bars) in a wake of destruction that started around 1959, and continues to this day.
He is currently rumored to be hiding in a basecamp in the badlands of Wyoming, while occasionally cavorting freely around the world teaching others his secrets to explosive substances, starting with the basic formula "U-P" (Use Plenty). His wife sits quietly at home, running the farm, paying the bills, and taking care of the grandchildren, wondering when he will return. I visit her often. UH, that is, IF she exists.
His real name is Denver S. Dingess. Seriously. He belonged to a religious organization in Houston, Texas, that was pro military, and sent a lot of young men to the Rangers. Hence "The Pious Archbishop".
Once, I was visiting a friend in Houston, and he took me to this church, and in the hallways of the church were 24 x 36 pictures of their church members in uniform lining the walls. I recognized quite a few of them.
"Doc" Burns. Medic, 2nd Platoon
None other than First Sergeant Jan Schalavin. 1SG Schalavin escaped from Hungary at age fifteen and eventually made his way to the states. A legend for having his way with both words and women. Well, words, anyway.
A clear reference to a girl nicknamed "Pepper" who was anything BUT a virgin. Shall we say she was "Known" around the entire Battalion?
An oblique reference to the problems of "Peppers" Perils.
I can't remember his first name any more, But PFC Stancy was a legend in his own way. Unable to pass entrance exams requiring any measurable form of IQ, Stancy immediately volunteered for The Rangers. He was entertaining, enjoyable, and definitely loyal. He was immensely proud to be the star of the story.
There is no indication of whom this could be, perhaps other than myself. But I knew that.
1LT Boller, the Artillery Fire Support Officer Hence "Lord of Smoke and Fire"
Just another demented Villain. Probably from HHC company.
Just another demented Villain. Probably from HHC company.
SSG Robert W. Portis. Ex Marine, 1st Platoon.
I knew it would come to this. And I know what you're thinking. And I don't care. They couldn't be talking about me. I'd know it if they were. I know I'm really the Knight in Shiny Armor. So there!
"Call me SERGEANT" Eldon E. Brown. Rumored to be half indian, and half asian. Nobody ever really knew. What we did know was when liquor was applied in copious quantities, the results were usually spectacular. We sent him over to Alpha company to become an Alphabot. Unfortunately, he got a little too much fire water in him one night and kissed one of his PFC's. We never saw him again.
SSG Gordon Sparling, rumored to be half-deaf from firing ordinance in Vietnam, was at the time of the writing assigned to "Repair and Utility" or "R & U".
SSG Ron Kluemper of Third platoon. Several months previously, there had been a small boat movement mission down the Nisqually River, and SSG Kluemper was the Coxswain of one of the boats. Unfortunately, that night, many, many, mishaps occurred, and aside from boats being overturned, three weapons being lost, people nearly drowning (SGT Ron Crane), "Admiral" Kluemper kept hitting currents and obstacles, and the boat traveled half the length of the mission oriented backwards. 1LT Abizaid was, of course, in this boat at the time.