Once Upon a Time...

Originally Written by 1LT John Abizaid on 29 DEC 76, about some of the creatures that lived in Charlie Company, 2nd Bn, (Ranger) 75th Infantry (Airborne)

Part One of Three Parts...

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Hooah there lived a benevolent old King named Mattoon. King Mattoon was a wise old man but he was getting old and there were evil, ambitious people in the Kingdom who wanted to depose the old man and spread terror and disorder throughout the Kingdom. The old King, only partially senile, sensed that things were not quite right and he relied on his crippled Archbishop, Denver of Dingess, to deliver his royal proclamations and administer justice in a tenderly manner to his beloved subjects. But those evil men knew that the old King could not live forever and even the Royal Physician, Lord Burns could not work miracles forever. These despicable characters were biding their time, waiting for the right moment put their greasy claim on the throne. Only Denver of Dingess the pious Archbishop fully recognized the danger to the kingdom, and he knew in his heart that only one Knight in shiny armor could defeat those bearers of death and destruction, and he knew that this noble fellow had powers beyond that of normal mortals given to him by the famous magician Schalavin before his time death killed at the height of his power trying to rescue the Virgin Maid Pepper from the dreaded VEEDEE dragon.

So Denver of Dingess of Denver gave the sacred message to the court jester, Stancy of Chicago, a loyal but totally mindless mongoloid, stricken at birth with an incurable mental disorder. But Stancy of Chicago was loyal, he could understand the spoken word with some difficulty, but the Archbishops message was safe because Stancy of Chicago could read not a single word of the Kings English. The Archbishop knew that the savior of the realm could be found in the nearby country of Insanity, and Stancy of Chicago, a man who was born without legs knew that country only too well as he had won a pole vault competition at the special Olympics the year before. The knight had been in that terrible country fighting the feared Marx brothers, Chico had been slain, but not even with the help of Schalavin's valued magic could Groucho be stopped.

As Stancy of Chicago set for the the villains of the Realm planned their treachery. They planned to kidnap the Wizard of Smoke and Fire, Lord Boller, steal the Royal Cannon, put the old and feeble King's head in the barrel and blast him to his final resting grounds. Such scoundrels are rare in history, they rank with with the dememted demons of Gengis Khan and Hitler for their utter lack of scruples and their demented intellects. There were three of these these villains, Portis of Potty, Parker of Knowitall, and the crazed Brown of Eldon.

Next Week... The Knight Arrives to Save Old King Mattoon!

About the Cast of Characters

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Retyped 4/8/98 by "Peter" Parker.