Here's one. I won't divulge any names. The 2d Battalion (Ranger), 75th Infantry, was formed facing east, towards the rising sun. It was battalion PT day, and the WAD (that's LTC Wayne A. Downing) was in charge of our wretched bodies once again. Those that were there remember the drill:

The WAD - "The four-count pushup. In cadence, exercise. ... One, two, three, one. One, two, three, two. .... One, two, three, 15!."

The WAD - "Recite after me. The first stanza of the Ranger Creed. Recognizing...."

The WAD - "Exercise One, Conditioning Drill One. The Pushup. In cadence, exercise. ... One, two, three, one. One, two, three, two. .... One, two, three, 15!."

The WAD - "The four-count pushup. In cadence, exercise. ... One, two, three, one. One, two, three, two. .... One, two, three, 15!."

The WAD - "Recite after me. The second stanza of the Ranger Creed. Acknowledging ...."

The WAD - "Exercise Two, Conditioning Drill One. The Bend and Reach. In cadence, exercise. ... One, two, three, one. One, two, three, two. .... One, two, three, 15!."

...and so on for the remaining exercises. We would do (well, sort of do) pushups, then the Creed, then the exercise, then more pushups, then the Creed, then...

A little aside. There used to be a taxidermy shop right out the Madigan gate at Fort Lewis. Had all kinds of exotic animal horns, antlers and skins on display. Even had a polar bear outside the shop that was way too big to fit inside. Anyhow, back to battalion PT.

As the sun was starting to peek out over Mount Rainier and the HHC barracks, those with great... night... vision... began... to... slow... down... while... exercising. They... started... stopping... exercising. Soon... most... everyone... was... frozen... in... time... looking... at... the... roof... of... the... Hog's... building.

There, in wondrous splendor, was the biggest, whitest, polar bear with outstretched arms you will ever see. He was standing on the roof in a mighty pose, facing the whole battalion. I suppose he hoisted himself using the vertical hauling line that was still affixed to the corner of the building. However he got there, The WAD now noticed his presence (mostly because we weren't sounding off, and were frozen in time with our mouths open). In a calm, steady voice (really!) he indicated that he didn't care where the bear came from. He didn't care if it crapped on the roof and not in the woods. He didn't care how it got home. But he sure cared that it got gone, and he meant now!

Good thing the B.C. decided to make the bear go home. Wasn't long before our buddies from the county sheriff's office were cruising the Ranger area along with our friendly, neighborhood MPs. Seems a bear was missing from a local taxidermist.

Those, gentlemen, are the facts as I know them.

Ranger Mellinger 2/75 74-79, 81-83